Love.. not so romantic


Is there a definition for love? Can you actually define love? 

Now answer this: is it a genuine feeling about someone, a feeling that takes you head over heels? Or is it all in your head? You got used to the person, you think you love that person, then the thought builds up more and more until you actually believe you love that person!

I'm not sure if I make sense. But its all clear in my head. 

Love is that narcotic thought that we are all addicted to. We all look for it. And whenever we think we found it we grab it by the hands and the teeth. And maybe the feet too. And as soon as this "love" fades away, we start looking for it again, maybe with someone else.

I stopped believing that love is magical. I stopped believing that love can do wonders. That when you love someone you forget all his/her flaws. I stopped dreaming about love. Love is a myth that is overrated. There is no such thing called love. If there was, that spark would have stayed for years and years. But don't you see how the spark fades away with each day? Lovers turn from madly in love into people who are living together, sharing life supplies, and taking care of each other. That spark could be called curiosity,  excitement, adrenaline rush..   but its definitely not love.

It could be that we have always defined love the wrong way. Our parents, the books we read, the songs we listened to, and the movies we watched.. all defined love as that indescribable feeling you get for someone, where you suddenly mature and at the same time become so childish. Where you become a fool. When you start doing things you would definitely regret if you weren't in love. When your heartbeats start racing when you see that person, and stupid words come out of your mouth. When you spend nights staring at the ceiling dreaming of that face. 

These beliefs about love make love temporary. Love isn't perfect. Love isn't that crazy fading spark.. love is everything else that comes after that.  

I believe love is respect, care, admiration of the other person's self. Love is splitting your troubles with another person whom you trust. Love is giving without waiting for any return. Love is making compromises. It is when you see others' flaws and accept them and know how to deal with them, and also willing to change your flaws for them. Love is sharing, dreaming, and crying together. Love is also that routine you get used to. It is the responsibility and all the difficulties that come along. Love is fighting and getting angry. 

But despite all this.. and although this way makes love sound totally imperfect, love, in this new definition, is actually finding peace. 

Learn the true definition of love, then start seeking for it. The spark fades away with time. What remains after the breath-taking feelings is what love actually is..



Comments

  1. Love is overrated....... I couldn't agree more. Nice article Nouran I really like it.

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    1. Thanks Haitham! Glad you are reading my blog posts :)

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  2. Beautiful. ....I would like to add smthn I also read "Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.

    A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me. "The downs can be really low ― and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."

    Dr. Jill Murray (author of But I Love Him: Protecting Your Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships)writes that if someone mistreats you while professing to love you, remember: "Love is a behavior." A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving ― not only saying, "I love you," but showing it.

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    1. Amazing! I loved what that woman told you.. you have three choices, leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse.

      If only everyone has that mentality...

      Thank you so much for reading my blog.. I loved your comments. if only I knew who you are :)

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