Selfishness in a Nutshell

They had a little fight that day. It was a silly fight about who should go pick up their son from school. Nothing out of the ordinary. But for some reason she got worried. There was a cold wind blowing although it was summer time. His eyes became emotionless that day. She knew something was wrong.

And every time she tried to ask him what’s the matter, he would coldly reply with “nothing”. After he went to work, she sat in the kitchen wondering what has happened. They have had bigger fights than this, what’s different this time. Something was not right.

It was already 8:45 am. She was late. Shaking away all the negative thoughts, she dragged herself out of the house, into her car, and headed her way to work.

Her eyes were focused on the screen, but her mind was somewhere else. Her heart was beating so fast and she had butterflies in her stomach all day long. Trying to comfort herself, she kept on remembering how silly this was compared to all what they have been through before. She reminded herself how he always told her that she is his one and only, and how he can never let her go, no matter what. This gave her some comfort. And she decided that she should make it up for him. It could be that he was going through a lot at work, and he cannot handle going through silly fights with her at home. She felt guilty, and thus started planning for the evening.

Right after work, she ran to the mall and did some grocery shopping. She was planning to cook him his favorite dish and wear that black dress he loves, and make sure she looks fresh and beautiful. After the kids went to sleep, she rushed to the kitchen and started cooking, looking at the clock every now and then. Racing time, she managed to finish everything before he was home. The dining table was ready, food was ready, and candles were lit. One thing remaining; she went to her closet and took out the perfume she was wearing on their wedding day. It hasn't been used since then. But that night was the right time to use it again. She added a couple of drops behind her ears and on her wrists, tapped her cheeks with blusher, and added some lip gloss. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Everything looked perfect.

Within minutes, she heard his car park outside. Running to get the door for him, he came in with the same cold look on his face. She welcomed him with a smile and a kiss on his cheek. He forced himself to smile back then went in.

“I cooked for you”

“okay”

His voice was like a slam to her face. That fear she had in the morning came back. She felt like crying, but instead drew a smile on her terrified face and acted normal. He came back dragging his feet to the table. They both sat without a word, and started eating. "How was your day?" she asked trying to break the ice. "Okay" he mumbled still looking at his plate.

As soon as he finished his plate, he stood up. “Thanks” he said, then headed to the bathroom. Brushed his teeth then said “I’m going to sleep. Good night”. She was still in the dining room staring at her untouched food. “Who the hell is this guy?!” she thought.

When she had the courage to get up, an hour has already passed. She cleaned the table, turned the lights off and went to her room. Sitting on her side of the bed she looked at him. He looked different. She did not know what has changed, but at that time, she knew something big is going to hit them soon.

In the morning, a cold breeze was moving around the house. It felt haunted and scary. After the bus picked up the kids, she stood in the room looking at him doing his tie. He ignored her. She wanted to ask what the matter was, but she was afraid of the answer. And then it came, the unsought answer to her question. He was on a chair tying his shoes. Without looking at her he said “I want out”. She knew what that meant but unconsciously asked “what do you mean?”

He replied coldly “I want a divorce”.

She stood there not knowing what to say to that. Deep down she knew this was coming. But she hadn't prepared a speech. He stood up, walked past her, and went out. She froze in her place. But she wasn't scared anymore. Hearing him say the words gave her a whole different feeling. She felt rage. She felt disgrace. And above all, she felt hatred…