Wheel of life..

Yesterday I took my kids and their friends out. Went to those indoor places where they have all sorts of activities for kids. While I was sitting there watching them play, suddenly the music in the background caught my attention. They were playing kindergarten songs. These songs are my favourite. I memorized them all since I was in preschool.

Itsy bitsy spider.. Row row row your boat.. The wheels of the bus go round and round.. Head shoulders knees and toes.

How reminiscent! The songs took me back in time.. 25 years back! Funny how I am one of those people who remembers things from as young as 3 years old. I started remembering my classroom; we were the carebears. We used to sit down in a circle listening to the teacher read us stories.. How the early sun used to shed its golden rays down on us from the window. I remembered the smell of crayons and the play dough. How we used to play outside in the sand. I remembered our voices while in the playground. How happy we were.. how light. Nothing burdened us. Nothing hurts. Just pure innocence! Happy kids jumping and singing.. I smiled when I remembered a song we used to sing in Arabic: killon 3indon siyarat o jiddi 3indo 7maar.. birakibna 5alfoh bya5idna mishwar. That song was my favorite. I used to giggle while singing it as I used to imaging my grandfather on a donkey in the streets!

Then, I started thinking of all my classmates.. How each and every one now has a problem of his own. Sickness, unhappily married, unhappily single, divorced, widowed, no kids, too many kids, no money, alcoholic, unemployed, has a job with a horrible boss, mean mother in law, mean sister in law, dead parents, dead siblings... I can go on with this list forever! Remembering their faces when they were 4 years old and their faces now 25 years later just gave me the chills. How we all never thought things of this sort could ever happen to us.. or to someone close.. we thought such bad things happen only in movies.. or to strangers.. we never thought life is this bitter.

Thinking about this made me wonder.. what is still waiting for us? I think I already got my share (I hope that i did!). So what is waiting for my children.. what sorrows life would bring them? Looked at them play.. and choked. I don't want to even imagine them hurt in any way. Maybe they already had their share too when I had mine. Because a divorce is already a huge burden on them. It will affect them differently throughout the years. Yeah.. maybe they already had their share..

God bless my kids.. I wish I had super powers to protect them.. to wrap them in a bubble and never let anyone or anything hurt them.. I wish we lived in a different life.. But that is just a dream.. and life is going to only get more bitter each day.. and I know that we are already living the better day.. so we might as well live the moment and wish for the best..

Before we head back home, the song that was playing was: If you are happy and you know it clap your hands.. if you are happy and you know it clap your hands... If you are happy and you know it then your face will surely show it.. if you are happy and you know it clap your hands..

Clap your hands my darlings.. clap your hands.. let your happiness show on your faces.. let your hearts smile and spread your childish giggles all around.. coz one day.. giggles will turn into mere smiles.. and happiness will turn into compromises. We used to eagerly want to grow older when we were children, but now that we grew up and saw what being a gronwup is, we wish that childhood never ended..